as i waited to board the plane – the first of three in a 12-hour period – in the dingy, gray and dismal hall, I could see my breath as white as a ghost as I exhaled. I thought to myself, “the cold is almost behind you.” It wasn’t going to be long – 27 hours to be exact – until I found myself in the hot, humid and crazy Bangkok.
as i looked out the window and stared at patches of ice on the tarmac and the blue mechanic loading area. I asked myself, “what the fuck are you doing? Is this really happening?”
as the nerves, panic and excitement swarmed inside, the doubt also slowly crept in. it didn’t help that the small patches of ice grew into full blankets under the rotating wheels. “did the pilot know there’s a bunch of people on this? Maybe i won’t make it after all.” but as the plane (successfully) took off, and the sun peered through my window – I knew it would be OK.
I remembered how the beginning of something new was always rough. a new job, or love, the beginning of a story or blog or press release. Trying yoga for the first time or just a new pose. There’s always a level of uneasiness that grabs hold. That you look around and think, “what am i doing here?”
It’s a hard place to be, but with time and a bit of stubbornness and determination that changes. The place becomes less scary, less unknown, more exciting and more like home.
Thinking of those moments in my life, made me realize that you have to start somewhere. You have to put in a resume or write a sentence or show up to the damn studio. This time, I just happened to need a plane.
as the plane took off, I took one last look at the snow below me, so peacefully beautiful from the sky. and as i closed my eyes and breathed – i breathed away the doubt and soaked in the gentle, warming sun.
I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was in a whole new place.